Hurricane break

   I had most of a blather piece rolling around in my head, but it doesn't seem like much fun right now. I'll share later this week, very sad conditions in this part of the world right now so I'll just save it. Oh, if you are reading this and I compared you to Charlotte Church recently, I hadn't seen the video and didn't mean it that way. The super-talented part I meant. --r-

St. James Davis faces new challenges

   After having their pet chimpanzee Moe removed from their care in 1999, St. James and Ladonna Davis began visiting him at the Wildlife Waystation in Lake View Terrace until he was moved to Animal Haven Ranch near Bakersfield in 2004. On March 3rd, while visiting to celebrate Moe's 39th birthday, four other chimpanzees escaped their enclosures and two of them attacked the Davises. Mr. Davis lost all of his fingers, parts of his face and one foot, Mrs. Davis lost a thumb. Throughout their tribulations beginning with the forced removal of Moe from their home in 1999 and their subsequent suing into disinterest the city of West Covina over the two unrelated bitings that Moe was accused of; The Davises have continued to retain shrill attorney Gloria Allred.

Most recently attached remora-like to best-selling author Amber Frey, Allred is best known as the Dr. Joyce Brothers of the American legal system. Davis is scheduled for many more surgeries for his injuries, there is currently no known technique to remove media whores. --r-

Playpen Magazine, click here to subcribe!

   While watching "Malcolm in the Middle" just the other day, I noticed they made use of an old tv fake product, "Oaties" cereal. Something about avoiding eye contact with Lois, Malcolm and Dewey kept dragging the box back and forth across the table to hide. If this makes no sense, there is a point. "Oaties" is a fake product used on tv shows that have enough respect for their art not to sell off product placement. Or simply on networks that don't indulge, but we know FBS does; peep the American Idol Honda Swiffer Sprint Nabisco Variety Hour. I know I've seen it on several shows, I suppose I am bored by what I choose to watch and/or I am obsessive enough to notice stupid details. "Playpen" magazine has been on so many shows, there should be a list somewhere. Whenever a nudie magazine appears on American television, it is "Playpen". If you don't know, the two top competing mags of this kind were once "Playboy" and "Penthouse". A cute play on the two titles, the same issue seems to have been passed from one production set to the next; it appears to be the same cover from one show to the next. Ann Marie appears as a centerfold in one episode of "That Girl", albeit the victim of 1960s photoshopping. Get to the point.

   My point is, what a fortune there is to be made out there by creating these fictional brands IRL, with free advertising embedded in years of reruns. That would be very cool. Maybe not. I really should run this idea by the honchos at General Mills, and Bob "the Gooch" Guccione, he isn't busy, is he?

*doot*doot*doot* Ok, it appears that there was or is a Playpen magazine or two IRL. Still, I saw it on a "That 70s Show" rerun recently, and I think you could get away with snagging the title, fair use for satire and all. --r-

*doot*doot*doot* Ahem, those geniuses of the cereal restaurant chain "The Cereal Bowl" have already copyrighted "Oaties™" for some such something they sell. This is still a billion dollar idea, just find another product.

Pimpin' is very easy, now that you mention it

Inspired by recent events and a somewhat friendly reply from an acquaintance, I have been trying to make a habit of updating, which isn't exarkly easy when you only think part-time. As it happens, blogskipping sometimes brings inspiration, and other times you just find things you want to grab and claim as your own. You might, I don't. By way of reference link at ebc ("coven" over thataway>>); I happened upon some of the funniest reporting concerning Big Dub I've read in a long time. So, take a moment, skip on over to WTF and have a look around. Drop in on ebc too, if you get a chance, and I'll try to have something to say after the wedding if not sooner. --r-

A few words on Brother Pat

   I've been asked to say a few words about the recent statement by Pat Robertson. Not the attempted retraction, just the original. As a military strategist, his idea is neither complex nor original, there was a lot of talk of the same such strategic elimination before Operation Desert Storm. Whatever your feelings on the first Gulf War, President Bush the Elder likes a good show as well as anyone, and he would not be dissuaded at that time(1).

   Robertson a loon? Hardly, but not necessarily what you look for in a religious leader. Not as glib and hateful as Swaggart(2) remarking he would likely murder a homosexual that "looked at me that way", and then proceed to conceal that information from G0d; but on the same wavelength. Their statements belie a glaring misunderstanding of the Creator they have supposedly entrusted with their faith. The all-seeing, all-knowing G0d of "In the beginning" - whom Protestants, Jews, Catholics, and Muslims all claim as our origin - is apparently not considered quite so omnipotent by these two sweethearts. "By whatever means necessary(3)" is not a biblical axiom, it is the antithesis of what these two fellows usually blather about from their ivory towers; odd that they can turn on a dime when they know what is right for G0d better than He does. "Break my rules to further my agenda" is not contained within the pages of any holy scriptures, although it may be scribbled in the margins of a few.

   As a private citizen, Robertson has every right to make a rather bland and obvious observation. His position as a leader of a religious organization, should have caused him to consider the effects of such a statement on his congregation. Then again, Robertson is not the most stable of pulpit denizens, he has repeatedly claimed control over hurricanes through prayer. Why he doesn't simply ask his congregation to pray that certain people die I really don't know, and I'm not being sarcastic.

   The most important single reason for separation of Church and State is simply that religious scriptures designed to address the individual on how to live his/her life can not be applied to how a community of millions (that includes non-believers) governs itself. Robertson doesn't seem to grasp this, as his armchair military strategies illustrate; he also doesn't seem to understand which side of the aisle he represents. Whether scriptural ideals and propositions about government can be utilized successfully in the modern era is more of a question for religious dictatorships than the United States, still a democracy after all these years. --r-










(1)Neither would Bush the Younger have allowed any such actions two years ago, when the opportunity to spin a costly nonsensical action in Iraq into an election win loomed over his less-than-popular Presidency. Spending their presidencies trying to 'look Presidential' is the legacy of the Bushes.

(2)"I'm trying to find the correct name for it . . . this utter absolute, asinine, idiotic stupidity of men marrying men. . . . I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I'm gonna be blunt and plain; if one ever looks at me like that, I'm gonna kill him and tell G0d he died." You are your Brother's keeper Jimmy.

(3) Trying to steer clear of asking whether the ends justify the means, which they often do and must be carefully assessed before such an action as the assassination of a foreign leader or random randy homosexual.

Speaking of Short Guys with Mental Problems

   I don't want to bring up anything too controversial, but this amused
me. Tomcruiseisnuts.com reports a story from allheadlinenews.com (wtf,madeup.com was taken?) that the diminutive actor has spawned a new catchphrase, "Jumping the Couch". The defining moment when you know someone has gone off the deep end. Hijacking metaphors are not my favorite thing, but that was cute. Going postal = going crazy violently. Jumping the couch = going crazy giggling and gleefully, glaring at one and all in such a way that they must surely know that you know the history of many important things, but they do not. --r-
(they have a great picture of him jumping a couch, natch)

THAT'S What I'm Talking About

   Randall mentioning the lowestar, and the recent catchphrase thing, got me to thinking again about the origins of this oft-repeated phrase.
Usually, I hear it when something has gone particularly well, the
speaker has received something just as they had hoped or better. An
enthusiastic affirmative. Example, I ask for a pen and a very nice pen
is offered to me, I am then told "Keep it". Woo-hoo, yay eee YAY!!
Now, THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!

   I also find it related to the phrase "YouknowwhutI'msayin?", which is usually uttered repeatedly by people that seem to need reassurance
every other sentence that they are getting their point across.

   I pulled aside an aquaintance recently and asked her did she remember the episode of "Diff'rent Strokes" where Willis finally had enough of Arnold asking him what he was talkin' 'bout and he shoved him in the street to be run over by a cab. He leaned over the crumpled heap in the street and screamed over and over "THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!" until the ambulance arrived. She didn't remember it, I may have made it up; if not it is the origin of the phrase. --r-
What is your favorite word?