But it's not necessary

The biggest sucker deal in retail.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Speaking of Unreasonable Men

On 10/26/06, D. L. GuyIKnowatNunya.net forwarded (again) to me:
>              Read the entire thing:
> You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when
> you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:
> 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
> 2. An old friend who once saved your life.
> 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about your entire life.
> Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could
> only be one passenger in your small car?
> Think before you continue reading.
> This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a
> job application.
> You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus
> you should save her first.
> Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life and
> this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never
> be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired
> (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He
> simply answered, "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him
> take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus
> with the partner of my dreams." Sometimes, we gain more if we are able
> to give up our stubborn thought limitations.
> Never forget to "Think Outside the Box."
> HOWEVER...., the correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her
> out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the
> car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers!!!! God, I just
> love happy endings!

<<I have to break in here.The problem with this old chestnut is that the winning "right" answer is not possible the way the question is worded.

[Which one would you choose to *offer a ride to*]

The way the winning candidate chose to discard this detail and offer
his keys to one of his choices of passenger doesn't display "thinking
outside the box" or "a lack of stubborn limitations"; rather he showed
himself to be a jerk that has no respect for authority or the
constraints of logic that the other candidates likely did. The correct
answer would be to take the old lady which is all the question asked.
Whether you choose to, I don't know, um maybe give a couple people
your phone number or tell them you'll come back or whatever before you leave - has nothing to do with the question that was offered. Remember,a reasonable man sees the world as it is and adapts, the unreasonable man seeks to change the world to suit him, therefore all progress is made by unreasonable men. Men like this jerk that handed his keys off and died in the horrible bus accident with his soulmate.

Duty Freebie: Great stuff continues to happen at Gallery of the Absurd, so I must continue to pimp this fine website. Head on over, I dare you.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

You can buy them pretty much anywhere

I wasn't going to push youtube stuff, but so many people that I try to
talk to about this commercial haven't seen it, so here it is.

I liked the comment "Someone should tell this guy you can buy Skittles pretty much anywhere." 'Cause, you know; you can. They have them at the hardware store. I'm still not understanding all the different flavor packs, tropical, ice cream flavors, shades of pink, they confuse and intimidate me. But the commercials get stranger and stranger, so that's good.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

So you think you can take it?

Back story: I went 14 years without dental and therefore not seeing a
dentist. I have had 3 fillings and have several more planned. And now,
"The Punchline That Went Nowhere"

I was asked by the hygienist when I walked in the room if I had any problems, and I mentioned some sensitivity and slight pain in my front lower gums. She and the dentist agreed it was probably some tartar build-up aggravating my gums. Dr. Nearly said that I had several lower fillings to be done so she could numb me all across the front and right side bottom and give me a good scaling after doing the fillings, or I could get the last upper filling that was a bit more urgent and she would just scrape what she could (that I could stand) without numbing down there. (Apparently they don't numb whole faces these days. Slip and fall lawsuits from the drool puddles, natch.)

I said if she thought the filling in #15 was more urgent -since she is usually booked up for at least a month beyond each appointment - then I would take that and a numbing-free scrapedy-scrape. We had a stand-off; she told me to let her know when it was too painful and I decided to let her go as far as she wanted to and I would pretend that it didn't hurt. It hurt, a lot. ! I shut my eyes right away - I usually watch the ceiling between their heads and occasionally glance into their eyes, then back to the ceiling -  but I shut my eyes so that I wouldn't let on to the pain with any wincing and so forth. I think the excessive eye fluttering gave me away, although she has been a dentist for a few years and knows quite well what hurts and how badly.

I consoled myself through the worst of it that I had a great line for when she stopped and asked me how it was. (I don't mean I thought of a funny line, I had a divine comedy line descend upon my brain from on High, truly a work of art.) Sure enough, immediately afterwards she or the assistant asked me was I okay, and I said "I've had my heart broken; what's physical pain?" To which Dr. Nearly got solemn and said "Aww, I'm sorry", which kind of set me back; I thought it was a pretty funny line. I also got the impression, which I have had before, that she doesn't get a lot of one-liners in her daily routine.

I cut my eyes to the hygienist but couldn't tell if she was feeling my great line because I was still wearing my safety glasses and she still had on her face-shield so I wasn't able to catch her eye. The Doc told me I was done and I just had to mention that I had hoped for a better reaction to the line.
??? Appeared on both of their faces and I elaborated that my broken heart line was in fact comedy gold, which it obviously was not quite. It may have been my delivery, and definitely in some part the setting, but I still think it was an exquisite line. And really, it only fits in that setting, or maybe the proctologist's office. No, it wouldn't even work there, too awkward.

Duty Freebie: Line Rider!

This thing is cool, there is a small download so you can waste time with it offline. You draw a line from left to right and then more and then more and try to flip him around or smack him into the ground or make flips and have him land safely and continue riding. That's the most difficult - and time wasting.