But it's not necessary

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

So you think you can take it?

Back story: I went 14 years without dental and therefore not seeing a
dentist. I have had 3 fillings and have several more planned. And now,
"The Punchline That Went Nowhere"

I was asked by the hygienist when I walked in the room if I had any problems, and I mentioned some sensitivity and slight pain in my front lower gums. She and the dentist agreed it was probably some tartar build-up aggravating my gums. Dr. Nearly said that I had several lower fillings to be done so she could numb me all across the front and right side bottom and give me a good scaling after doing the fillings, or I could get the last upper filling that was a bit more urgent and she would just scrape what she could (that I could stand) without numbing down there. (Apparently they don't numb whole faces these days. Slip and fall lawsuits from the drool puddles, natch.)

I said if she thought the filling in #15 was more urgent -since she is usually booked up for at least a month beyond each appointment - then I would take that and a numbing-free scrapedy-scrape. We had a stand-off; she told me to let her know when it was too painful and I decided to let her go as far as she wanted to and I would pretend that it didn't hurt. It hurt, a lot. ! I shut my eyes right away - I usually watch the ceiling between their heads and occasionally glance into their eyes, then back to the ceiling -  but I shut my eyes so that I wouldn't let on to the pain with any wincing and so forth. I think the excessive eye fluttering gave me away, although she has been a dentist for a few years and knows quite well what hurts and how badly.

I consoled myself through the worst of it that I had a great line for when she stopped and asked me how it was. (I don't mean I thought of a funny line, I had a divine comedy line descend upon my brain from on High, truly a work of art.) Sure enough, immediately afterwards she or the assistant asked me was I okay, and I said "I've had my heart broken; what's physical pain?" To which Dr. Nearly got solemn and said "Aww, I'm sorry", which kind of set me back; I thought it was a pretty funny line. I also got the impression, which I have had before, that she doesn't get a lot of one-liners in her daily routine.

I cut my eyes to the hygienist but couldn't tell if she was feeling my great line because I was still wearing my safety glasses and she still had on her face-shield so I wasn't able to catch her eye. The Doc told me I was done and I just had to mention that I had hoped for a better reaction to the line.
??? Appeared on both of their faces and I elaborated that my broken heart line was in fact comedy gold, which it obviously was not quite. It may have been my delivery, and definitely in some part the setting, but I still think it was an exquisite line. And really, it only fits in that setting, or maybe the proctologist's office. No, it wouldn't even work there, too awkward.

Duty Freebie: Line Rider!

This thing is cool, there is a small download so you can waste time with it offline. You draw a line from left to right and then more and then more and try to flip him around or smack him into the ground or make flips and have him land safely and continue riding. That's the most difficult - and time wasting.


At 6:44 PM, Blogger l.b. said...

Most dentist stories are comedy gold...and this one is right up their on the podium receiving it's little medal :-)


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