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Sunday, March 05, 2006

Stoopy Joins a Club

Long time acquaintance Stoopy has joined one of the easiest clubs to get into. She has become a member of Knocked Up Teenaged Sluts of America. I say acquaintance because if I had been a friend I guess would have been force-feeding her birth control pills. Part-time Thinker is not the Father, (I haven't engaged in relations with a teenager since I was one), but the Father is someone quite a bit older than her. Not only is this guy 30 years old, he already has four children with some configuration of 'Baby Mommas'. Ahh, what a beautiful story to tell a child of its conception. "I was humping this old dude that had already littered the countryside with his bastard progeny without using birth control of any kind and the next thing I knew I was pregnant. Who'd a thunk it?"
To be fair, she is 18, and she did go to the trouble of graduating high school first, which is more than can be said for most KUTSA members; but really. She had higher education and a life beyond the trailer parks and tobacco fields ahead of her, but now will likely attach herself to the welfare teat and never look back.
Stoopy's Mother, Spline, also an acquaintance, was quite upset at first, but has quickly become glazed over with Grandmotherly fantasies. I can't blame her for that, what else can she do?


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