Dear Bayer, Dear Pfizer

   Dearest Bayer Pharm.,
I believe it may be time to return to shore. The ship has sailed, all the jokes have been made, and they aren't ever going to be called "Levitra Jokes". It doesn't matter how often you inundate my television with your wonderful, happy couple dancing, men skipping down porch steps, it ain't ... gonna ... happen. They were there first, and it sure is a lucrative market, the "I want an erection and can not achieve one naturally" crowd is the epitome of the term Maintenance Drug Customer. However awkwardly constructed that sentence was, I'm sure you get my drift. Diabetics may pay the bills, limpd**ks can make you rich! But, as I said, the mold has been cast, there is no going back, Viagra will always be the one getting free publicity every time one of those jokes is told. Here comes the part I want to address jointly to you and the fine folks of Pfizer:

      YOU CAN STOP ADVERTISING NOW.
    I have yet to have a problem getting one when I need one, but if that day comes I am aware there are pills I can get for the problem. You and I and the fencepost know that a representative from one or both of your fine companies has already paid a visit to my doctor, let's not kid ourselves. He will give me the sample from the company that most recently greased his smarmy paw with a golf weekend or free medical equipment. Either way, I am not going to be sitting on my sofa watching television waiting for someone to remind me there is a pill for it, right? Everyone on the planet that has access to a pill-pusher already knows, so save the advertising cash for the graft or print ads or whatever. I personally will make a point of buying the opposing product of the last one to intrude on my television enjoyment, if/when your pill ever becomes necessary for me. Thanks